We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize