He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
