SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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