i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
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