what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
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