I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
