I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
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