Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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