Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Randomize
