this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
