Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
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