you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
