I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Randomize
