he referred to my room as the tit cave...
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
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