I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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