Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
21 Porn Stars Confess What Sex Is Really Like On Set
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
19 People That Found Pubes In All The Wrong Places
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.