dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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