All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
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I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
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