I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Randomize