Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
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