Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Randomize
