i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
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