Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
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