Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
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