That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
Two words: blizzard sex
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
