Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
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you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
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I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
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