she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
You just missed an honest to god bukkake