Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE