I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
These Are The 21 Strangest Sexual Fantasy Confessions
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
You Will Never Meet Anyone More Annoying Than These 23 People
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder