Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
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I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
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adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".