I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
