I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
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