Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
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