Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
I need a burrito and a hug.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
Randomize
