Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
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