I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
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