We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
