the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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