I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
