I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
