Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
I wish there were birth control emojis
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
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