I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
