You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
Why is your signature on my underwear?
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
