Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
I can't watch pbs sober anymore
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
where does the pee come out of this thing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!