cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize