guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
We are all done wearing pants today
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
