Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Randomize
