somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Randomize
