that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
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