before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
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