No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
