Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
