I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Randomize
