Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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