Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
