i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
i think i scared a bird with my dick
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
