Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
