my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
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