didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
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