dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize
