You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
