What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Randomize
