I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Randomize
