laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
