He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Randomize
