it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize
