You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Randomize
