I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
