I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
