i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Randomize
