Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
