Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Boobs are out for the taking
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
